Full Metal Jacket Full Metal Jacket (1987) by Stanley Kubrick, Michael Herr and Gustav Hasford. Based on the novel "The Short Timers" by Gustav Hasford. FADE IN: 1 INT. BARBERSHOP--PARRIS ISLAND MARINE BASE--DAY Marine recruits having their heads shaved with electric clippers. The hair piles up on the floor. 2 INT. BARRACKS--DAY Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their bunks. Master Gunnery Sergeant HARTMAN walks along the line of blank-faced recruits. HARTMAN I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that? RECRUITS (in unison) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair. RECRUITS (louder) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that? RECRUITS (in unison) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! I can't hear you! RECRUITS (louder) Sir, yes, sir! Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a black recruit, Private SNOWBALL. HARTMAN What's your name, scumbag? SNOWBALL (shouting) Sir, Private Brown, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name? SNOWBALL (shouting) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball! They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall! SNOWBALL Sir, yes, sir! JOKER (whispering) Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? HARTMAN Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking- standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt. HARTMAN Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?! COWBOY Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you! COWBOY Sir, no, sir! JOKER Sir, I said it, sir! Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER. HARTMAN Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the stomach. JOKER sags to his knees. HARTMAN You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck! JOKER Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps? JOKER Sir, to kill, sir! HARTMAN So you're a killer! JOKER Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Let me see your war face! JOKER Sir? HARTMAN You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face! JOKER Aaaaaaaagh! HARTMAN Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face! JOKER Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! HARTMAN You didn't scare me! Work on it! JOKER Sir, yes, sir! Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face. HARTMAN What's your excuse? COWBOY Sir, excuse for what, sir? HARTMAN I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private. Do you understand?! COWBOY Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while? COWBOY Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Are you shook up? Are you nervous? COWBOY Sir, I am, sir! HARTMAN Do I make you nervous? COWBOY Sir! HARTMAN Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?! COWBOY Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN How tall are you, Private? COWBOY Sir, five foot nine, sir! HARTMAN Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh? COWBOY Sir, no, sir. HARTMAN Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated! HARTMAN Where in hell are you from anyway, Private? COWBOY Sir, Texas, sir! HARTMAN Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks! COWBOY Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Are you a peter-puffer? COWBOY Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach- around! I'll be watching you! Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another recruit, a tall, overtweight boy. HARTMAN Did your parents have any children that lived? PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody? PYLE Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir! HARTMAN Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Do you suck dicks? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! PYLE has the trace of a strange smile on his face. HARTMAN Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Well, any fucking time, sweetheart! PYLE Sir, I'm trying, sir. HARTMAN Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds--excactly three fucking seconds--to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! One! Two! Three! PYLE purses his lips but continues to smile involuntarily. PYLE Sir, I can't help it, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag! PYLE gets down on his FEnees. HARTMAN Now choke yourself! PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to choke himself. HARTMAN Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!! PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks it away. HARTMAN Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke yourself! PYLE leans forward so that his neck rests in HARTMAN's open hand. HARTMAN chokes PYLE. PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face. HARTMAN Are you through grinning? PYLE (barely able to speak) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! I can't hear you! PYLE (gasping) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike you got a pair! PYLE (gagging) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN That's enough! Get on your feet! HARTMAN releases PYLE's throat. PYLE gets to his feet, breathing heavily. HARTMAN Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links ... or I will definitely fuck you up! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! 3 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND--DAY The training platoon is double-timing in formation. HARTMAN is calling cadence. HARTMAN . . right, left, right, left! Left, right, left, right, left! Left, right, left, right, left! JOKER (narration) Parris Island, South Carolina.... the United States Marine Corps Recruit Depot. An eight- week college for the phony-tough and the crazy-brave. HARTMAN Mama and Papa were laying in bed. RECRUITS (chanting in. cadence) Mama and Papa were laying in bed. HARTMAN Mama rolled over, this is what she said... RECRUITS Mama rolled over, this is what she said... HARTMAN Ah, gimme some... RECRUITS Ah, gimme some... HARTMAN Ah, gimme some... RECRUITS Ah, gimme some... HARTMAN P.T.... REcRuITs P.T.... HARTMAN P.T.... REcRuITs P.T.... HARTMAN Good for you! RECRUITS Good for you! HARTMAN And good for me! RECRUITS And good for me! HARTMAN Mmm, good. RECRUITS Mmm, good. HARTMAN Up in the morning to the rising sun. RECRUITS Up in the morning to the rising sun. HARTMAN Gotta run all day... 4 EXT. PRACTICE FIELD--SUNSET Recruits, silhouetted against the sun, climbing ropes, nets and ladders. HARTMAN ...till the running's done! RECRUITS Gotta run all day till the running's done! HARTMAN Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch! RECRUITS Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch! HARTMAN Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year- itch! RECRUITS Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year- itch! DISSOLVE TO: 5 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY HARTMAN marches the platoon across a wide expanse of asphalt. The recruits carry rifles. HARTMAN Left, right, left, right, left! To your left shoulder . . . hut! Left, right, left! Port . . . hut! HARTMAN Left, right! Platoon ... halt! Left shoulder ... hut! PYLE momentarily places his rifle on the wrong shoulder and immediately corrects himself: HARTMAN spots this and walks up to him. HARTMAN Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps? PYLE Sir, I don't know, sir! HARTMAN You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Then you did that on purpose! You want to be different! PYLE Sir, no, sir. HARTMAN slaps PYLE hard across the left cheek. HARTMAN What side was that, Private Pyle?! PYLE Sir, left side, sir! HARTMAN Are you sure, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN SlaPS pnE hard across the right cheek, Knocking his cap off: HARTMAN What side was that, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, right side, sir. HARTMAN Don't fuck with me again, Pyle! Pick up your fucking cover! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! DISSOLVE TO: 6 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY HARTMAN marching the platoon. - bringing up the rear is PYLE, his fatigue pants down around his ankles; he is sucking his thumb and he carries his rifle muzzle down. 7 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT HARTMAN walks along the line of recruits in skivvies holding their rifles and standing at attention in. front of their bunks. HARTMAN Tonight ... you pukes will sleep with your rifles! You will give your rifle a girl's name! Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get! Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece, this weapon of iron and wood! And you will be faithful! Port ... hut! Prepare to mount! Mount! On HARTMAN's command the platoon mount their bunks with their rifles and lie on their backs at attention. HARTMAN Port . . . hut! The recruits snap their rifles to the port arms position. over their chests. HARTMAN Pray! RECRUITS (in unison) This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy ... but peace. Amen. HARTMAN Order . . . hut! The recruits snap their rifles down to their sides. HARTMAN At ease! HARTMAN turns off the barracks lights. HARTMAN Good night, ladies. RECRUITS (in unison) Good night, sir! HARTMAN (to duty guard) Hit it, sweetheart! DUTY GUARD Sir, aye-aye, sir! 8 EXT. PARADE FIELD--DAWN HARTMAN drills the platoon. HARTMAN Right shoulder ... hut! This is not your daddy's shotgun, Cowboy. Left shoulder ... hut! Move your rifle around your head, not your head around your rifle. Port ... hut! Four inches from your chest, Pyle! Four inches! 9 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT HARTMAN marches the recruits through the squad bay. Their rifles are at shoulder arms and their left hands clutch their genitals. HARTMAN This is my rifle! This is my gun! RECRUITS This is for fighting! This is for fun! HARTMAN This is my rifle! This is my gun! RECRUITS This is my rifle! This is my gun! They repeat this over and over again as they march up and down the squad bay. DISSOLVE TO: 10 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY HARTMAN marching the platoon, calling cadence. 11 EXT. "ARMSTRETCHER" OBSTACLE--DAY Hand over hand the recruits swing along the "Armstretcher." HARTMAN Ten fucking seconds! It should take you no more than ten fucking seconds to negotiate this obstacle! Quickly, move it out! There ain't one swinging dick private in this pla- toon's gonna graduate until they can get this obstacle down to less than ten fuck- ing seconds! 12 EXT. "TOUGH ONE" OBSTACLE--DAY HARTMAN watches as the recruits climb ropes and ladders to a high wooden tower above the platform 13 EXT. PUGIL-STICK CIRCLE--DAY PYLE and another recruit, wearing football-style helmets, batter each other with pugil sticks. The recruits are formed up around them in a cir- cle. They cheer as PYLE is beaten, to the ground. 14. EXT. "DIRTY NAME" OBSTACLE--DAY RECRURTS waiting in two lines for their turn. HARTMAN Next two privates! Quickly! The next two recruits struggle over the obstacle. HARTMAN Get over that goddamn obstacle! Move it! Next two privates! Quickly! Hurry up! Get up there! JOKER and another recruit go over easily. HARTMAN Private Joker, are you a killer? JOKER Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Let me hear your war cry! JOKER Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! HARTMAN Next two privates, go! PYLE and another recruit. PYLE is hopeless. HARTMAN Quickly! Get your fat ass over there, Private Pyle! Oh, that's right, Private Pyle ... don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle! If God wanted you up there He would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't He? PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Get your fat ass up there, Pyle! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN What the hell is the matter with you anyway? I'll bet you if there was some pussy up there on top of that obstacle you could get up there! Couldn't you?! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! PYLE drops heavily to the groulzd. HARTMAN Your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubble gum, Pyle. Do you know that? PYLE Sir, yes, sir! 15 EXT. CHINNING BAR--DAY Recruits are doing pull-ups. HARTMAN watches JOKER finishing many, many of them. HARTMAN One for the Corps! Get up there! Pull! JOKER finally drops to the ground. HARTMAN I guess the Corps don't get theirs. Get up there, Pyle! PYLE tries to do a pull-up but can't get to the top of the bar. HARTMAN Pull! Pull, Pyle, pull! One pull-up, Pyle! Come on, pull! You gotta be shitting me, Pyle! Get your ass up there! Do you mean to tell me that you cannot do one single pull-up? PYLE, exhausted from his efforts, drops to the ground. HARTMAN You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle!! Get out of my face! Get up there, Snowball! 16 EXT. "CONFIDENCE CLIMB"--DAY PYLE climbs a high obstacle. HARTMAN Get up here, fatboy! Quickly! Move it up! Move it up, Pyle! Move it up! You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle? Get up here! You're too slow! Move it, move it! Private Pyle, what- ever you do, don't fall down! That would break my fucking heart! Quickly! PYLE freezes at the top. HARTMAN Up and over! Up and over! Well, what in the fuck are you waiting for, Private Pyle? Get up and over! Move it, move it, move it! Are you quitting on me? Well, are you! Then quit you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! PYLE climbs back down his side of the obstacle. HARTMAN Move it! I'm gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short- dicks every cannibal on the Congo! 17 EXT. ROAD--DAY The platoon is irregularly strung out on a road nearing the end of a rapid, forced march. PYLE is at the end of the line ready to drop. Supported by JOKER, PYLE Staggers along as HARTMAN bellows at him. HARTMAN Pick'em up and set'em down, Pyle! Quickly! Move it up! Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, you piece of shit, Private Pyle? Or did you have to work on it? Move it up! Quickly! Hustle up! The fucking war will be over by the time we get out there, won't it, Private Pyle? HARTMAN gives PYLE a shove. HARTMAN Move it! PYLE gasps for breath. HARTMAN Are you going to fucking die, Pyle? Are you going to die on me!! Do it now! Move it up! Hustle it up! Quickly, quickly, quickly! Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on! 18 EXT. MUD OBSTACLE--DAY The platoon tries to run, through the mud. PYLE half carried by JOKER and COWBOY falls taking JOKER down with him. HARTMAN Quickly ladies! Assholes and elbows! Move it out! Get up there! Move it! Move it, move it, move it! 19 INT. BARRACKS--PRE-DAWN HARTMAN and two Junior Drill Instructors stride into the Squad Bay. The lights go on. HARTMAN bangs loudly on an empty metal garbage can which he carries into the room. HARTMAN Reveille! Reveille! Reveille! Drop your cocks and grab your socks! Today is Sunday! Divine worship at zero-eight-hundred! Get your bunks made and get your uniforms on. Police call will commence in two minutes! HARTMAN stops in front of JOKER's bunk. HARTMAN Private Cowboy! Private Joker! COWBOY Sir, yes, sir! JOKER Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN As soon as you finish your bunks, I want you two turds to clean the head. JOKER & COWBOY (in unison) Sir, aye-aye, sir! HARTMAN I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump! JOKER & COWBOY (in unison) Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary? JOKER Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN throws down the garbage can with a loud bang. HARTMAN Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly! JOKER Sir, the private said "No, sir," sir! HARTMAN Why, you little maggot! You make me want to vomit! HARTMAN slaps JOKER, hard, across the cheek. HARTMAN You goddam communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary . . . or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you do love the Virgin Mary, don't you?! JOKER Sir, negative, sir!! HARTMAN Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?! JOKER Sir, negative, sir!!! Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong! And the Senior Drill Instructor will beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir! HARTMAN Who's your squad leader, scumbag? JOKER Sir, the private's squad leader is Private Snowball, sir!!! HARTMAN Private Snowball! SNOWBALL double-times up to HARTMAN. SNOWBALL Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir! HARTMAN Private Snowball, you're fired! Private Joker is promoted to squad leader! SNOWBALL Sir, aye-aye, sir! HARTMAN Private Pyle! PYLE Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir! HARTMAN Private Pyle, from now on Private Joker is your new squad leader, and you will bunk with him! He'll teach you everything. He'll teach you how to pee. PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts, and guts is enough. Now, you ladies carry on. JOKER, COWBOY & PYLE (in unison) Sir, aye-aye, sir! 20 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY JOKER patiently explains the disassembly of an M-14 rifle to PYLE. JOKER The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver. Operating rod handle. Operating rod guide. 21 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT JOKER and PYLE sitting on their footlockers. JOKER instructs PYLE in the correct method of lacing his combat boots. JOKER And the left one ... over the right. Right one over the left. Left one over the right. Right one over the left. 22 EXT. CONFIDENCE CLIMB--DAY On. top of the confidence climb, JOKER gently talks PYLE over the top. JOKER Just throw your other leg over ... that'a boy. That's it. Now just pull the next one over .. . and you're home free. Ready? Just throw it over. That'a boy. Just set it down. All right? PYLE breathes heavily. He is scared but he manages to get over. JOKER There you go. Congratulations, Leonard. You did it. 23 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT JOKER instructs PYLE in the correct way of making his bed. JOKER You fold the blanket and the sheet back together. Make a four-inch fold. Okay? Got it? You do it. PYLE looks down. uncertainly at the bed. 24 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY JOKER works with PYLE on the Manual of Arms. 25 EXT. OBSTACLE COURSE--DAY COWBOY, JOKER and PYLE run up a ramp, grab the ropes and swing across a ditch. PYLE makes it without trouble. 26 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY HARTMAN is drilling the squad, calling the cadence and watching PYLE who makes no mistakes. DISSOLVE TO: 27 EXT. RIFLE RANGE--DAY Targets are raised and lowered, red markers indicating hits. HARTMAN addresses the recruits. HARTMAN The deadliest weapon in the world is a ma- rine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to sur- vive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines. And then you will be in a world of shit. Because marines are not allowed to die without permission! Do you maggots understand? RECRUITS Sir, yes, sir! 28 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY The recruits are double-timing to HARTMAN's cadences. HARTMAN (chanting in cadence) I love working for Uncle Sam! RECRUITS (chanting in cadence) I love working for Uncle Sam! HARTMAN Lets me know just who I am! RECRUITS Lets me know just who I am! HARTMAN One, two, three, four! United States Marine Corps! RECRUITS One, two, three, four! United States Marine Corps! HARTMAN One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps! RECRUITS One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps. HARTMAN My Corps! RECRUITS My Corps! HARTMAN Your Corps! RECRUITS Your Corps! HARTMAN Our Corps! RECRUITS Our Corps! HARTMAN Marine Corps! RECRUITS Marine Corps! HARTMAN I don't know, but I've been told. RECRUITS I don't know, but I've been told. HARTMAN Eskimo pussy is mighty cold! RECRUITS Eskimo pussy is mighty cold! HARTMAN Mmm, good! RECRUITS Mmm, good! HARTMAN Feels good! RECRUITS Feels good! HARTMAN Is good! RECRUITS Is good! HARTMAN Real good! RECRUITS Real good! HARTMAN Tastes good! RECRUITS Tastes good! HARTMAN Mighty good! RECRUITS Mighty good! HARTMAN Good for you! RECRUITS Good for you! HARTMAN Good for me! RECRUITS Good for me! 29 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT The recruits in their skivvies stand at attention in two facing rows on top of their footlockers, arms outstretched, hands held rigidly in front of them, palms down, for inspection. HARTMAN moves along the row of men. He smacks a recruit's hand. HARTMAN Trim 'em. HARTMAN points at the feet of another recruit. HARTMAN Toejam! To another recruit. HARTMAN Pop that blister! HARTMAN stops in front of PYLE and notices his foot- locker is unlocked. He picks up the lock and holds it up to PYLE. HARTMAN Jesus H. Christ! Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked? PYLE Sir, I don't know, sir! HARTMAN Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that, don't you? PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would there? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Get down! PYLE steps down, from the footlocker. HARTMAN flips open the lid with a bang and begins rummaging through the box. HARTMAN Well, now .. . let's just see if there's anything missing! HARTMAN freezes. He reaches down and slowly picks up a jelly doughnut, holding it in disgust at arm's length with his fingertips. HARTMAN Holy Jesus! What is that? What is that, Private Pyle?! PYLE Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir! HARTMAN A jelly doughnut?! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN How did it get here? PYLE Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir! HARTMAN Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, no, sir! HARTMAN And why not, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir! HARTMAN Because you are a disgusting fatbody, Private Pyle! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut in your footlocker, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, because I was hungry, sir! HARTMAN Because you were hungry? Holding out the jelly doughnut, HARTMAN walks down the row of recruits still standing with their arms outstretched. HARTMAN Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon! I have tried to help him, but I have failed! I have failed because you have not helped me! You people have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him, I will punish all of you! And the way I see it, ladies, you owe me for one jelly doughnut! Now, get on your faces! HARTMAN (to PYLE) Open your mouth! He shoves the jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth. HARTMAN They're paying for it, you eat it! HARTMAN turns to the recruits. HARTMAN Ready . . . exercise! The platoon does push-ups. RECRUITS (chanting in cadence) One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps! One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps! One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps! One, two, three, four . . . While the platoon does push-ups, PYLE swallows hard to get down. bites of the doughnut. DISSOLVE TO: 30 INT. BARRACKS--DAWN JOKER checks PYLE's Uniform. JOKER (quietly) You really look like shit today, Leonard. PYLE Joker? Everybody hates me now. Even you. JOKER Nobody hates you, Leonard. You just keep making mistakes, getting everybody in trouble. PYLE I can't do anything right. I need help. JOKER I'm trying to help you, Leonard. I'm really trying. PYLE grins, trustingly. JOKER Tuck your shirt in. DISSOLVE TO: 31 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY The platoon does squat thrusts as PYLE sits, his cap on backwards, sucking his thumb. HARTMAN watches. RECRUITS (counting in unison) One, turo, three . . . nineteen! One, two, three . . . twenty! One, two, three . . . twenty-one! One, two, three . . . twenty-two! One, two, three . . . twenty-three! One, two, three . . . twenty-four! One, two, three . . . twenty-five! One, two, three . . . twnty-six! One, two, three . . . twenty-seven! One, two, three . . . twenty-eight! One, two, three . . . twenty-nine! One, two, three . . . thirty! FADE TO BLACK 32 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT We see a towel on a bed. A bar of soap is tossed on the towel. The towel is folded over the soap forming a weapon. A hand picks up the towel-weapon and bangs it on the mattress making a dull thud. PYLE is asleep in his bunk. The platoon silently slip out of their beds and form up around PYLE. A blanket is thrown over PYLE, each corner held down by a recruit, pinning PYLE to the bed. COWBOY shoves a gag in PYLE's mouth. PYLE is helpless. The platoon files past beating PYLE with the bars of soap wrapped in towels. PYLE's screams are muffled by the gag. JOKER is the last one. He stands back from the bed. COWBOY (to JOKER) Do it! Do it! JOKER hesitates, then moves forward and hits PYLE hard several times. Then JOKER jumps into his bunk. The recruits yank the restraining blanket of PYLE and run back to their bunks. COWBOY (removing gag) Remember, it's just a bad dream, fatboy. PYLE sobs loudly and sits up, holding himself in pain. Lying in, his bunk, JOKER covers his ears. FADE IN: 33 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY The platoon is lined up. HARTMAN Port... hut! Left shoulder ... hut! Right shoulder ... hut! Port ... hut! Do we love our beloved Corps, ladies? RECRUITS (shouting in unison) Semper fi, do or die! Gung ho, gung ho, gung ho! PYLE says nothing, just stares straight ahead. HARTMAN What makes the grass grow? RECRUITS Blood, blood, blood! PYLE stares. Does not join in the shouting. HARTMAN What do we do for a living, ladies? RECRUlTS Kill, kill, kill! PYLE remains silent. HARTMAN I can't hear you! RECRUITS Kill, kill, kill! HARTMAN Bullshit! I still can't hear you! RECRUITS Kill, kill, kill! PYLE continues to stare blartkly ahead. 34 EXT. BLEACHERS--DAY The platoon sits on bleachers facing HARTMAN. HARTMAN Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? No response. HARTMAN None of you dumbasses knows? COWBOY raises his hand. HARTMAN Private Cowboy? COWBOY Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir! HARTMAN That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed twenty people from a twenty-eight-storey observation tower at the University of Texas from distances up to four hundred yards. HARTMAN looks around. HARTMAN Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Almost everybody raises his hand. HARTMAN Private Snowball? SNOWBALL Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir! HARTMAN That's right, and do you know how far away he was? SNOWBALL Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir! The recruits laugh at "suppository. " HARTMAN All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a head shot! Do any of you people know where these individuals learned to shoot? JOKER raises his hand. HARTMAN Private Joker? JOKER Sir, in the Marines, sir! HARTMAN In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will be able to do the same thing! Camera slowly moves in on PYLE staring at HARTMAN. 35 INT. BARRACKS--DAY Recruits standing at attention in two facing rows. HARTMAN walks between the rows, leading them in song. HARTMAN & RECRUITS Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, dear Jesus, Happy Birthday to you! HARTMAN Today ... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand? RECRUITS Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN I can't hear you! RECRUITS Sir, yes, sir! 36 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT The recruits are seated on footlockers, cleaning their rifles. HARTMAN prowls among them, watching. PYLE talizs softly to his rifle. JOKER looks at him uneasily. PYLE (to his rifte) It's been swabbed.... and wiped. Everything is clean. Beautiful. So that it slides perfectly. Nice. Everything cleaned. Oiled. So that your action is beautiful. Smooth, Charlene. DISSOLVE TO: 37 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT A few recruits, including PYLE, are mopping the floor. 38 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT In the latrine COWBOY and JOKER are also mopping the floor. JOKER stops, looks around to be sure they are alone, and turns to COWBOY. JOKER Leonard talks to his rifle. COWBOY keeps mopping. COWBOY Yeah! JOKER I don't think Leonard can hack it anymore. I think Leonard's a Section Eight. Pause. COWBOY It don't surprise me. They both go back to mopping. JOKER speaks again after some silence. JOKER I want to slip my tubesteak into your sister. What'll you take in trade? COWBOY What have you got? 39 EXT. FIRING RANGE--DAY HARTMAN kneels behind PYLE, looking on with approval. PYLE finishes a good group and reloads his M-14. HARTMAN Outstanding, Private Pyle! I think we've finally found something that you do well! PYLE Sir, yes, sir! 40 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY HARTMAN inspects the recruits. HARTMAN (to JOKER) What's your sixth General Order? JOKER Sir, the private's sixth general order is to receive and obey and to pass on to the sentry who relieves me ... all orders ... Sir, the private's sixth ... Sir, the private has been instructed but he does not know, sir! HARTMAN You slimy scumbag, get on your face and give me twenty-five! JOKER Sir, aye-aye, sir! HARTMAN walks to PYLE. HARTMAN How many counts in that movement you've just executed? PYLE Sir, four counts, sir! HARTMAN What's the idea of looking down in the chamber? PYLE Sir, that is the guarantee that the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir! HARTMAN What's your fifth general order? PYLE Sir, the private's fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir! HARTMAN What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle? PYLE Sir, the private's weapon's name is Charlene, HARTMAN Private Pyle, you are definitely born again hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps. PYLE Sir, yes, sir! 41 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY HARTMAN double-timing the recruits, calling cadence. HARTMAN I don't want no teenage queen. RECRUITS I don't want no teenage queen. HARTMAN I just want my M-14. RECRUITS I just want my M-14. HARTMAN If I die in the combat zone. RECRUITS If I die in the combat zone. HARTMAN Box me up and ship me home. RECRUITS Box me up and ship me home. HARTMAN Pin my medals upon my chest. RECRUITS Pin my medals upon my chest. HARTMAN Tell my mom I've done my best. RECRUITS Tell my mom I've done my best. DISSOLVE TO: 42 EXT. FOREST--DAY Woods. For the first time the platoon marches in full combat gear carrying rifles. JOKER (narration) Graduation is only a few days away and the recruits of platoon thirty-ninety-two are salty. They are ready to eat their own guts and ask for seconds. 43 EXT. FIELD--DAY In full combat gear and with fixed bayonets, the recruits charge through green smoke. JOKER (narration) The drill instructors are proud to see that we are growing beyond their control. The Marine Corps does not want robots. The Marine Corps wants killers. The Marine Corps wants to build indestructible men, men without fear. 44 INT. BARRACKS--DAY HARTMAN talks to the recruits formed up in a school-circle. HARTMAN Today you people are no longer maggots. Today you are marines. You're part of a brotherhood. 45 EXT. PARADE GROUND--DAY Graduation. A marching band. Spectators. Hundreds of marines parade by in dress uniform. HARTMAN (voice over) From now on, until the day you die, wherever you are, every marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: marines die, that's what we're here for! But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means you live forever! DISSOLVE TO: 46 INT. BARRACKS--DAY HARTMAN talks to the platoon, again in a school- circle. HARTMAN Pickett! PICKETT Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN O-three-hundred, Infantry. Toejam! TOEJAM Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN O-three-hundred, Infantry. Adams! ADAMS Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Eighteen-hundred, Engineers. You go out and find mines. Cowboy! COWBOY Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN O-three-hundred, Infantry! Taylor! TAYLOR Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN O-three-hundred, Infantry. Joker! JOKER Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN Forty-two-twelve, Basic Military Journalism. You gotta be shitting me, Joker! You think you're Mickey Spillane? Do you think you're some kind of fucking writer? JOKER Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir! HARTMAN Jesus H. Christ, you're not a writer, you're a killer! JOKER A killer, yes, sir! HARTMAN Gomer Pyle! PYLE doesn't answer. HARTMAN Gomer Pyle! We see PYLE in close-up, now completely with- drawn, barely able to answer HARTMAN. PYLE Sir, yes, sir! HARTMAN You forget your fucking name? O-three- hundred, Infantry. You made it. Perkins! PERKINS Sir, yes, sir! 47 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT The platoon sleeps. JOKER walks slowly down the squad bay with a flashlight. JOKER (Itarration) Our last night on the island. I draw fire watch. JOKER hears a muffled sound. He isn't sure where it comes from. He slowly enters the latrine. 48 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT Running his flashlight across the room JOKER Sees PYLE sitting on a toilet, loading a magazine for his M-14 rifle. PYLE looks up at JOKER and smiles. It is a frightening smile. PYLE (strange voice) Hi, Joker. JOKER stares at PYLE for a few seconds. PYLE has suite clearly snapped. JOKER Are those ... live rounds? PYLE Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket. PYLE smiles grotesquely. JOKER Leonard .. . if Hartman comes in here and catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit. PYLE I am .. . in a world . . . of shit! PYLE gets to his feet, snaps his rifle to port arms, and starts executing the Manual ofArms. PYLE (shouting) Left shoulder ... hut! Right shoulder ... hut! Lock and load! Order ... hut! PYLE picks up the loaded magazine, inserts it into the rifle and smartly brings the rifle down to the order arms position. PYLE (shouting) This is my rifle! There are many like it, but this one is mine. 49 INT. BARRACKS HALLWAY--NIGHT By now the platoon is awake. HARTMAN bursts from his room, wearing his skivvies and D.I. hat. PYLE (offscreen) My rifle is my best friend! It is my life! HARTMAN Get back in your bunks! PYLE (o.s.) I must master it as I must master my life! Without me ... 50 INT. LATRINES--NIGHT HARTMAN Storms into the latrine. HARTMAN What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head? (to JOKER) Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out? JOKER Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor that Private Pyie has a full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir! HARTMAN and PYLE look at each other. PYLE Smiles from the depths of his own hell. HARTMAN focuses all of his considerable powers of intimidation, into his best John- Wayne-on-Suribachi voice. HARTMAN Now you listen to me, Private Pyle, and,you listen good. I want that weapon, and I want it now! You will place that rifle on the deck at your feet and step back away from it. With a twisted smile on his face pyLE POintS his rifle at HARTMAN. HARTMAN look suddenly calm. His eyes, his manner are those of a wanderer who has found his home. HARTMAN What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!! Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?!!! BANG! The round hits HARTMAN in the chest. He falls back dead. JOKER and PYLE stand looking at the body. Then PYLE looks at JoKER and slowly raises his rifle. JOKER (trembling) Easy, Leonard. Go easy, man. PYLE breathes heavily, and Keeps the rifle aimed at JOKER. JOKER is scared shitless. PYLE looks at JOKER for several seconds and slowly lowers the rifle. Then he stumbles back a few steps and sits down, heavily on the toilet. PYLE turns away from JOKER and stares into space, a strangely peaceful look transforming his face. He places the muzzle of the rifle in his mouth. JOKER No!!! BANG! PYLE pulls the trigger and blows the back of his head over the white tiled wall behind him. SCENE FADES TO BLACK FADE IN: 51 EXT. DA NANG STREET, VIETNAM--DAY Motorcycles, cars, Vietnamese civilians. Swinging her hips ruith exaggerated sexiness, an attractive HOOKER in a mini-skirt walks toward a cafe' table on the pavement ulhere JOKER and RAFTERMAN are seated. Music: Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made for Walking." The girl stops at JOKER's table. HOOKER Hey, baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam? JOKER Not just this minute. HOOKER Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you long time. You party? JOKER Yeah, we might party. How much? HOOKER Fifteen dolla. JOKER Fifteen dollars for both of us? HOOKER No. Each you fifteen dolla. Me love you long time. Me so horny. JOKER Fifteen dollar too boo-coo. Five dollars each. HOOKER Me suckee-suckee. Me love you too much. JOKER Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend. HOOKER Okay! Ten dolla each. JOKER What do we get for ten dollars? HOOKER Everything you want. JOKER Everything? HOOKER Everything. JOKER Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money? RAFTERMAN Just a minute. RAFTERMAN raises his Nikon and starts photographing JOKER and the HOOKER. The girl strikes quick poses for the camera and coughs. JOKER puts his arm around her. JOKER You know, half these gook whores are serving officers in the Viet Cong. The girl coughs again. JOKER The other half have got T.B. Make sure you only fuck the ones that cough. A young vietnamese boy walks up behind RAFTERMAN and grabs the Nikon camera from his hands. The boy runs to an accomplice sitting on a waiting motorbike and tosses the camera to him. Then in mockery the BOY excecutes a few, Bruce Lee moves before jumping on the bike and zooming off: JOKER laughs. DISSOLVE TO 52 EXT. U.S. MARINE BASE--DAY The main gates of the base. High-security fencing. Tanks, jeeps, trucks. A military helicopter lands. DISSOLVE TO: 53 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAY JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk down the base street past rows of hootches and other buildings. In the background some marines play basketball. JOKER That little sucker really had some moves on him, didn't he? RAFTERMAN Yeah ... You know what really pisses me off about these people? JOKER What? RAFTERMAN We're supposed to be helping them and they shit all over us every chance they get ... I just can't feature that. JOKER Don't take it too hard, Rafterman. It's just business. RAFTERMAN I hate Da Nang, Joker. I want to go out into the field. I've been in this country almost three months, and all I do is take handshake shots at awards ceremonies. JOKER You get wasted your first day in the field and it'd be my fault. RAFTERMAN A high school girl could do my job. I want to get out into the shit. I want to get some trigger time. JOKER If you get killed, your mom will find me after I rotate back to the world and she'll beat the shit out of me. That's a negative, Rafterman. 54 INT. SEA-TIGER HUT--DAY A Quonset hut. An editorial meeting of The Sea Tiger, the official marine newspaper, is in progress presided over by LIEUTENANT LOCKHART. JOKER, RAFTERMAN, and six other marine correspondens are seated around a large messy table covered with cameras, photographs, newspapers artd magazines. LOCKHART Okay, guys, let's keep it short and sweet today. Anybody got anything new? JOKER There's a rumor going around that the Tet ceasefire is gonna be cancelled. LOCKHART Rear-echelon paranoia. JOKER A bro in Intelligence says Charlie might try to pull off something big during the Tet holiday. LOCKHART They say the same thing every year. JOKER There's a lot of talk about it, sir. LOCKHART I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. The Tet holiday's like the Fourth of July, Christmas and New Year all rolled into one. Every zipperhead in Nam, North and South, will be banging gongs, barking at the moon and visiting his dead relatives. LOCKHART All right ...Ann-Margret and entourage are due here next week. I want someone to be there on the airfield and stick with her for a couple of days. Uh, Rafterman, you take it. RAFTERMAN Aye-aye, sir. LOCKHART Get me some good low-angle stuff. Don't make it too obvious, but I want to see fur and early morning dew. RAFTERMAN Yes, sir. LOCKHART (reading) "Diplomats in Dungarees--Marine engineers lend a helping hand rebuilding Dong Phuc villages . . ." Chili, if we move Vietnamese, they are evacuees. If they come to us to be evacuated, they are refugees. CHILI I'll make a note of it, sir. LOCKHART (reading) "N.V.A. Soldier Deserts After Reading Pamphlets --A young North Vietnamese Army regular, who realized his side could not win the war, deserted from his unit after reading Open Arms program pamphlets." That's good, Dave. But why say North Vietnamese Army regular? Is there an irregular? How about North Vietnamese Army soldier? DAVE I'll fix it up, sir. LOCKHART Lawrence Welk Show's gonna go out on TV in two weeks. Dave, do a hundred words on it. AFTV'll give you some background stuff. DAVE Yes, sir. LOCKHART (reading) "Not While We're Eating--N.V.A. learn marines on a search and destroy mission don't like to be interrupted while eating chow." Search and destroy. Uh, we have a new directive from M.A.F. on this. In the future, in place of"search and destroy," substitute the phrase "sweep and clear." Got it? JOKER Got it. Very catchy. LOCKHART And, Joker ... where's the weenie? JOKER Sir! LOCKHART The Kill, JOKER. The kill. I mean, all that fire, the grunts must've hit something. JOKER Didn't see 'em. LOCKHART Joker, I've told you, we run two basic stories here. Grunts who give half their pay to buy gooks toothbrushes and deodorants--Winning of Hearts and Minds--okay? And combat action that results in a kill--Winning the War. Now you must have seen blood trails ... drag marks? JOKER It was raining, sir. LOCKHART Well, that's why God passed the law of probability. Now rewrite it and give it a happy ending--say, uh, one kill. Make it a sapper or an officer. Which? JOKER Whichever you say. LOCKHART Grunts like reading about dead officers. JOKER Okay, an officer. How about a general? A few laughs. LOCKHART Joker, maybe you'd like our guys to read the paper and feel bad. I mean, in case you didn't know it, this is not a particularly popular war. Now, it is our job to report the news that these why-are-we-here civilian newsmen ignore. JOKER Sir, maybe you should go out on some ops yourself. I'm sure you could find a lot more blood trails and drag marks. Some laughs. LOCKHART JOKER, I've had my ass in the grass. Can't say I liked it much. Lots of bugs and too dangerous. As it happens, my present duties keep me where I belong. In the rear with the gear. DISSOLVE TO: 55 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DUSK Rows of hootches. In the distance, fireworks. JOKER (voiceover) Tet. The Year of the Monkey. Vietnamese Lunar New Year's Eve. Down in Dogpatch, the gooks are shooting off fireworks to celebrate. DISSOLVE TO: 56 INT. HOOTCH--NIGHT JOKER, RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the others are in their bunks, reading, lazing, smoking grass. JOKER is writing in a notebook. JOKER (yawns and stretches) I am fucking bored to death, man. I gotta get back in the shit. I ain't heard a shot fired in anger in weeks. PAYBACK Joker's so tough he'd eat the boogers out of a dead man's nose ... then ask for seconds. Some laughs. JOKER (John Wayne voice) Listen up, pilgrim. A day without blood is like a day without sunshine. PAYBACK Shi-i--i-t! Joker thinks the bad bush is between old mama-san's legs. Some laughs. PAYBACK He's never been in the shit. It's hard to talk about it, man. It's like on Hastings. CHILI Aw, you weren't on Operation Hastings, Payback. You weren't even in country. PAYBACK Eat shit and die, you fucking Spanish- American! You fucking poge! I was there, man. I was in the shit with the grunts. JOKER (John Wayne voice) Don't listen to any of Payback's bullshit, Rafterman. Sometimes he thinks he's John Wayne. PAYBACK You listen to Joker, new guy. He knows ti ti. Very little. You know he's never been in the shit,'cause he ain't got the stare. RAFTERMAN The stare? PAYBACK The thousand-yard stare. A marine gets it after he's been in the shit for too long. It's like ... it's like you've really seen beyond. I got it. All field marines got it. And you'll have it too. RAFTERMAN I will? STORK Hey, Payback. How do you stop five black dudes from raping a white chick? PAYBACK Fuck you, Stork. STORK Throw'em a basketball. Laughter. They are startled by the dull boom of mortar shells outside. DAVE Incoming. PAYBACK Oh, shit! CHILI They're outgoing. DAVE That ain't outgoing! Some closer explosions, much louder. CHILI That ain't outgoing! DAVE Now what I just say? The men grab their helmets, flak jackets and weapons and run outside. RAFTERMAN Joker, is this for real? JOKER Yes, it is, Rafterman. 57 EXT. DA NANG BASE--NIGHT Men running everywhere. Sirens. A mortar round lands in the distance, then others nearer. Fires are breaking out. 58 INT. BUNKER--NIGHT JOKER loads an M-60 machine gun, then hunches down watching the main gate of the perimeter. JOKER Hey, I hope they're just fucking with us. I ain't ready for this shit. STORK Amen. The sound ofa truck approaching. The marines get set. The truch smashes though the gates. The marines open fire. The truck is hit by a hail of automatic fire; it explodes and starts burning. N.V.A. troops follow the truck through the gate. The attackers are cut down by a withering fire from the marines. The attack peters out. People yell, "Cease fire." The firing trails off: DISSOLVE TO: 59 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAWN JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk through the wreckage of the night's battle. Prisoners are led past. LOCKHART (voice over) The enemy has very deceitfully taken advantage of the Tet ceasefire to launch an offensive all over the country. So far, we've had it pretty easy here. But we seem to be the exception. 60 INT. SEA-TIGER OFFICE--DAWN Dirty and still in. their combat gear, JOKER, RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the other correspondents are slumped in, their chairs around the table. LOCKHART (walking) Charlie has hit every major military target in Vietnam, and hit 'em hard. In Saigon, the United States Embassy has been overrun by suicide squads. Khe Sahn is standing by to be overrun. We also have reports that a divi- sion of N.V.A. has occupied all of the city of Hue south of the Perfume River. In strate- gic terms, Charlie's cut the country in half... the civilian press are about to wet their pants and we've heard even Cronkite's going to say the war is now unwinnable. In other words, it's a huge shit sandwich, and we're all gonna have to take a bite. Long, serious pause. JOKER Sir ... does this mean that Ann-Margret's not coming? Laughter. LOCKHART (pissed off) Joker.... I want you to get straight up to Phu Bai. Captain January will need all his people. JOKER Yes, sir. LOCKHART And Joker, you will take off that damn button. How's it gonna look if you get killed wearing a peace symbol? RAFTERMAN Sir? Permission to go with Joker? LOCKHART Permission granted. RAFTERMAN Thank you, sir. JOKER Sir, permission not to take Rafterman with me? LOCKHART You still here? Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick, and take Rafterman with you. You're responsible for him. 61 EXT. HELICOPTER SHOTS--DAWN A military helicopter flies past a huge sun. 62 INT. AERIAL HELICOPTER--DUSK JOKER Sits looking out the door. RAFTERMAN is frightened and airsick. The DOORGUNNER laughs and yells as he fires his M-60 machine gun. We see Vietnamese below running and falling. DOORGUNNER Get some ... get some ... get some ... get some ... yeah ... yeah ... get some ... get some. After a while the DOORGUNNER stops firing and grins at JOKER. DOORGUNNER (shouting to be heard) Anyone who runs is a V.C. Anyone who stands still is a well-disciplined V.C. (laughs) You guys oughtta do a story about me sometime. JOKER Why should we do a story about you? DOORGUNNER 'Cause I'm so fucking good! That ain't no shit neither. I've done got me one hundred and fifty-seven dead gooks killed. And fifty water buffaloes, too. Them're all certified. RAFTERMAN gags. JOKER Any women or children? DOORGUNNER Sometimes. JOKER How can you shoot women and children? RAFTERMAN gags. DOORGUNNER Easy. You just don't lead 'em so much. (laughs) Ain't war hell? DISSOLVE TO: 63 EXT. LZ HUE--DAY The helicopter lands. JOKER and RAFTERMAN jump out, duck down low and move away through pink smoke blown by the rotor blades. Marines run by carrying wounded on stretchers. JOKER (to a sergeant) Top, we want to get in the shit. MASTER SERGEANT Down the road, two-five. JOKER Two-five. Outstanding! Thanks, Top. DISSOLVE TO: 64 EXT. ROAD TO HUE--DAY A road next to a small canal on the outskirts of Hue. Tanks, trucks and marines are moving into the city past a column of refugees heading the other way. JOKER and RAFTERMAN catch up to a Lieutenant, salute him and walk alongside. JOKER Excuse me! Sir ... we're looking for First Platoon, Hotel two-five. I got a bro named Cowboy there. TOUCHDOWN You people one-one? JOKER No, sir. We're reporters for Stars and Stripes. TOUCHDOWN Stars and Stripes. JOKER Yes, sir. TOUCHDOWN I'm Cowboy's platoon commander. Cowboy's just down the road in the platoon area. JOKER Oh. You mind if we tag along, sir? TOUCHDOWN No problem. Welcome aboard. By the way, my name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski. My people call me Mister Touchdown. I played a little ball for Notre Dame. JOKER Notre Dame? TOUCHDOWN (laughing) Yeah. JOKER All right! TOUCHDOWN You here to make Cowboy famous? JOKER Ha! Never happen, sir. TOUCHDOWN Well, if you people came looking for a story, this is your lucky day. We got Condition Red and we're definitely expecting rain. JOKER Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business? TOUCHDOWN Well, the N.V.A. are dug in deep. Hotel Company's still working this side of the river. Street by street and house by house. Charlie's definitely got his shit together. But we're still getting some really decent kills here. JOKER We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the N.V.A. executing a lot of gook civilians. TOUCHDOWN That's affirmative. I saw some bodies about half a klick this side of Phu Cam Canal. JOKER Can you show me where, sir? TOUCHDOWN Here's the canal... 65 EXT. MASS GRAVE--DAY JOKER stands looking down into a large open grave at a row of white, lime-covered corpses. Journalists, marines and civilians are grouped around the grave. A work detail leans on their shovels, their faces covered with bandanas against the stench. JOKER (voice over) The dead have been covered with lime. The dead only know one thing. It is better to be alive. JOKER approaches a young lieutenant-- CLEVES. JOKER Excuse me. Good morning, Lieutenant. LT. CLEVES Good morning. JOKER I make it twenty. Is that the official body count, sir? LT. CLEVES (sharply) What outfit are you men with? JOKER Sir, we're reporters from Stars and Stripes. LT. CLEVES (warms up) Oh, I see. JOKER I'm Sergeant Joker and this photographer's Rafterman. RAFTERMAN starts shooting pictures of the Lieutenant. LT. CLEVES I'm Lieutenant Cleves. I'm from Hartford, Connecticut. JOKER Have you got a body count, sir? LT. CLEVES We think it's twenty. JOKER Do you know how it happened, sir? LT. CLEVES Well, it seems the N.V.A. came in with a list of gook names. Government officials, policemen, ARVN officers, schoolteachers. They went around their houses real polite and asked them to report the next day for political re-education. Everybody who turned up got shot. Some they buried alive. A marine COLONEL who has been watching JOKER turns from the group arourzd the grave and strides up. JOKER snaps to attention. COLONEL Marine ! LT. CLEVES Colonel. COLONEL Marine, what is that button on your body armor? JOKER A peace symbol, sir. COLONEL Where'd you get it? JOKER I don't remember, sir. COLONEL What is that you've got written on your helmet? JOKER "Born to Kill," sir. COLONEL You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?! JOKER No, sir. COLONEL You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you! JOKER Yes, sir. COLONEL Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man. JOKER I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir. COLONEL The what? JOKER The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir. COLONEL Whose side are you on, son? JOKER Our side, sir. COLONEL Don't you love your country? JOKER Yes, sir. COLONEL Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win? JOKER Yes, sir! COLONEL Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over. JOKER Aye-aye, sir. DISSOLVE TO: 66 EXT. FIELD--DAY JOKER and RAFTERMAN Walk through a field toward a pagoda. 67 EXT. PAGODA--DAY Marines are moving supplies. Some men are rest- ing on the ground. A helicopter flies overhead. Music: Sam the Sham's "Wooly Bully." JOKER Hey, bro, we're looking for First Platoon, Hotel two-five. MARINE Around the back. JOKER and RAFTERMAN lualk to the back of the building. JOKER (to another marine) First Platoon? MARINE Yeah, through there. 68 INT. PAGODA COURTYARD--DAY Through a moon-door opening on to the pagoda courtyard, We see COWBOY shauing. Other marines are sprawled around the courtyard walls. JOKER walks up behind COWBOY. JOKER Hey, Lone Ranger. COWBOY Holy shit! JOKER You old motherfucker. COWBOY It's the JOKER. JOKER What's happenin'? They hug each other. COWBOY Boy, I hoped I'd never see you again, you piece of shit! JOKER (laughs) What's happening, man? COWBOY Oh, I'm just waiting to get back to the land of the big PX. JOKER Yeah? Well, why go back? Here or there, samey-same. COWBOY Been getting any? JOKER Only your sister. COWBOY Well, better my sister than my mom, though my mom's not bad. COWBOY leads JOKER to the center of the courtyard. COWBOY This is my bro Joker from the Island. And this is... JOKER Rafterman. COWBOY ...Rafterman. They're from Stars and Stripes. They'll make you famous. Adlibs of "All right!" COWBOY We're the Lusthog Squad. We're life-takers and heartbreakers. Adlibs. COWBOY We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em full of lead. Adlibs of "Yeah!" etc. A big grunt, ANIMAL MOTHER, approaches JOKER. Trouble. ANIMAL MOTHER Are you a photographer? JOKER No ... I'm a combat correspondent. ANIMAL MOTHER (smiles) Oh, you seen much combat? JOKER returns the smile. JOKER Well, I've seen a little on TV. The other marines laugh. ANIMAL MOTHER You're a real comedian. Some more laughs. JOKER (pause) Well, they call me the JOKER. Adlibs. "Oooooooooo!" and laughter. ANIMAL MOTHER (moves closer) Well, I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole. Adlibs, laughter. JOKER (John. Wayne voice) Well, pilgrim ... only after you ... eat the peanuts out of my shit! Loud laughs and shouts. ANIMAL MOTHER (moves in close) You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk? Anticipatory adlibs of "Ooooh!" and "Whoooa!" EIGHTBALL, a black grunt, gets up and steps between JOKER and ANIMAL MOTHER. EIGHTBALL (to JOKER) Now you might not believe it but under fire Animal Mother is one of the finest human beings in the world. Laughter. EIGHTBALL All he needs is somebody to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life. Laughter. EIGHTBALL leads ANIMAL MOTHER away. COWBOY (laughing) Come on, sit down. Come on, new guy. EIGHTBALL and ANIMAL MOTHER sit down together. ANIMAL MOTHER Hey, jungle bunny. Thank God for the sickle cell, huh? EIGHTBALL Yeah, mother. CRAZY EARL sits on the ground next to a figure sprawled in a chair. CRAZY EARL Hey ... photographer! You want to take a good picture? Here, man ... take this. This ... is my bro. CRAZY EARL lifts the hat which has been, covering the man's face. We see he is a dead N.V.A. soldier. Laughter. CRAZY EARL This is his party. He's the guest of honor. Today ... is his birthday. Adlibs: "Happy Birthday, zipperhead!" etc. CRAZY EARL I will never forget this day. The day I came to Hue City and fought one million N.V.A. gooks. I love the little Commie bastards, man, I really do. These enemy grunts are as hard as slant-eyed drill instructors. These are great days we're living, bros!'We are jolly green giants, walking the earth with guns. These people we wasted here today ... are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting. 69 EXT. A FIELD, OUTSKIRTS HUE CITY--DAY COWBOY's platoon, advancing towards the city in a sweep formation behind tanks. Cuts of the squad, nervous and alert. Mortar rounds explode ahead. LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN is hit and goes down. The platoon dives for cover. DOC JAY crawls to him and starts mouth-to-mouth. SERGEANT MURPHY crawls up, has a look, moves to the back of the tank and picks up a field radio. The platoon stays flat. MURPHY Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over. Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over. DELTA SIX (o.s.) Delta Six. MURPHY Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire from the ville. The Lieutenant is down. We're going to stop here and check out what's in front of us. Over. CRAZY EARL, keeping low, scrambles up to the LUSTHOG SQUAD. CRAZY EARL Okay. Lusthog Squad, listen up! We're gonna move up these two roads here and check the ville. I want the third team up this road here. First and second fire team behind me up this other road, okay? Adlibs of "Right!" and "Okay!" CRAZY EARL Let's go! Let's get it done! Bending low the squad moves out past the tanks, leapfrogging toward some ruined buildings a couple of hundred yards in front of them. HAND JOB peers cautiously around the corner of a house and is killed instantly by a burst of automatic fire. ANIMAL MOTHER opens fire with his M-60 machine gun at some windows where the shots came from. Everyone opens fire, blasting chunks out of the building with a zillion rounds. T.H.E. ROCK fires an M-79 grenade, blowing out a window. RAFTERMAN photographs the action, his Nikon violently shaking. The fire slackens. Then it gets quiet. All their senses alert, everyone watches the building, listening hard. They reload. As CRAZY EARL reloads he spots six V.C. dashing across the street fifty yards away. They are out of sight in a second. Having missed his first chance, CRAZY EARL gets set hoping for another. Two more V.C. rush out into the open. He fires a long burst from his M-16 and they both go down. CRAZY EARL turns to the squad with a big grin. Music: "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen. This car- ries over through the next scene. 70 EXT. LOW WALL--DAY The platoon are hunched down behind a low wall. Tanks fire at some distant buildings. A three-man TV crew, ducking low, moves past them, filming. JOKER (John Wayne voice) Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? COWBOY Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam-- the Movie!" EIGHTBALL Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a horse! DONLON T.H.E. Rock can be a rock! T.H.E. ROCK I'll be Ann-Margret! DOC JAY Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo! CRAZY EARL I'll be General Custer! RAFTERMAN Well, who'll be the Indians? ANIMAL MOTHER Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians! Laughter. 71 EXT. HUE CITY RUINS--DAY The bodies of LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN and HAND JOB laid out on ground sheets. The LUSTHOG SQUAD are gathered around them. The camera moves to each man, pausing for them to speak. T.H.E. ROCK You're going home now. Camera move. CRAZY EARL Semper fi. Camera move. DONLON We're mean marines, sir. Camera move. EIGHTBALL Go easy, bros. Camera move. ANIMAL MOTHER Better you than me. RAFTERMAN Well, at least they died for a good cause. ANIMAL MOTHER What cause was that? RAFTERMAN Freedom. ANIMAL MOTHER Flush out your head gear, new guy. You think we waste gooks for freedom? This is a slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word ... my word is "poontang." COWBOY Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical. JOKER What was the matter with him? COWBOY He was jerkin' off ten times a day. EIGHTBALL It's no shit. At least ten times a day. COWBOY Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division. 72 EXT. HUE CITY--VARIOUS PLACES--DAY The television crew interviews members of the LUSTHOG SQUAD. REPORTER You ready? CAMERAMAN Yeah. REPORTER Turnover. CAMERAMAN Rolling. REPORTER Hue City interviews. Roll thirty-four. ANIMAL MOTHER Well ... like, like you see, you know, it's a major city, so we have to assault with, uh ... tanks. So, they send us in first squad ... to make sure that there are no little Vietnamese waiting with, like, B-40 rockets that blow the tanks away. So we clear it out and we roll the tanks in and ... basically, blow the place to hell. (chuckles) COWBOY When we're in Hue ... when we're in Hue City ... it's like a war. You know like what I thought about a war, what I thought a war was, was supposed to be. There's the enemy, kill 'em. RAFTERMAN Well, I don't think there's any question about it. I mean we're the best. I mean all that bullshit about the Air Cav ... When the shit really hits the fan, who do they call? They call Mother Green and her killing machine! CRAZY EARL Do I think America belongs in Vietnam? Um ... I don't know. I belong in Vietnam. I'll tell you that. DOC JAY Can I quote L.B.J.? REPORTER Sure. DOC JAY (imitating L.B.J.) "I will not send American boys eight or ten thousand miles around the world to do a job that Asian boys oughtta be doin' for themselves." EIGHTBALL Personally, I think, uh ... they don't really want to be involved in this war. I mean ... they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the gookers, you know. But they don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards. COWBOY Well, the ones I'm ... I'm fighting at are some pretty bad boys. I'm not real keen on ... some of these fellows that are . . . supposed to be on our side. I keep meeting'em coming the other way. Yeah. DONLON I mean, we're getting killed for these people and they don't even appreciate it. They think it's a big joke. ANIMAL MOTHER Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the wrong gooks. RAFTERMAN Well, it depends on the situation. I mean, I'm--I'm here to take combat photos. But if the shit gets too thick, I mean, I'll go to the rifle. ANIMAL MOTHER What do I think about America's involvement in the war? Well, I think we should win. COWBOY I hate Vietnam. There's not one horse in this whole country. They don't have one horse in Vietnam. There's something basically wrong with that. (laughs) ANIMAL MOTHER Well, if they'd send us more guys and maybe bomb the hell out of the North, they might, uh, they might give up. JOKER I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture and ... kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill. 73 EXT. WRECKED MOVIE THEATER--DAY The marines are seated outside the theater on rows of broken movie seats. A motor-scooter, driven by a young ARVN soldier with a pretty teenage Vietnamese HOOKER sitting behind him, and pulls up in front of the LUSTHOG SQUAD. The girl gets off slowly, swinging her hips as she walks. Adlibs, hoots anal hollers. COWBOY Ten-hut! More hoots and hollers. COWBOY Good morning, little schoolgirl. I'm a little schoolboy, too. Adlibs and laughter. COWBOY What you got there, chief! The girl stands facing them, hands on hips. ARVN PIMP Do you want number one fuckee? Adlibs and laughter. COWBOY Hey, any of you boys want number one fuckee? Adlibs. JOKER Oh, I'm so horny. I can't even get a piece of hand. DONLON Hey! Hey! Me want suckee. ARVN PIMP Suckee, fuckee, smoke cigarette in the pussy, she give you everything you want. Long time. Laughter. COWBOY Everything you want! All right! How much there, chief! ARVN PIMP Fifteen dolla each. Adlibs: "Nooooooo!" COWBOY Number ten. Fifteen dolla beaucoup money. Laughter. COWBOY Five dolla each. ARVN PIMP Come on. She love you good. Boom-boom long time. Ten dolla. COWBOY Five dolla. ARVN PIMP No. Ten dolla. COWBOY Be glad to trade you some ARVN rifles. Never been fired and only dropped once. Laughter and derisive adlibs. ARVN PIMP (angry) Okay, five dolla. You give me. Adlibs. COWBOY Okay, okay! EIGHTBALL, a black grunt, walks up to the girl. EIGHTBALL Let's get mounted. HOOKER (speaks in Vietnamese) ARVN PIMP (argues in Vietnamese) EIGHTBALL Something wrong there, chief? ARVN PIMP She says, uh, no boom-boom with soul brotha. EIGHTBALL Hey, what the mother fuck? ARVN PIMP She say soul brotha too boo-coo. Too boo-coo. EIGHTBALL Hey, what is this, man? COWBOY (breaiting up) I think what he's trying to tell you is that you black boys pack too much meat. Laughter. ARVN PIMP Too boo-coo. Too boo-coo. EIGHTBALL Oh, shi-i-i-t! (laughs) This baby-san looks like she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Laughter. ARVN PIMP She say too boo-coo. Too boo-coo. EIGHTBALL Uh, excuse me, ma'am. Now what we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent... (takes out his dick) . . specimen of pure Alabama blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamn boo-coo. The girl looks at it. Hoots and catcalls. TEENAGE HOOKER Okay. Okay. Emjee. More hoots. COWBOY (mimicking Vietnamese word) Okay! Okay! Emjee! Emjee! Adlibs of "Emjee." EIGHTBALL starts to lead her away. EIGHTBALL All right! This is my boogie! COWBOY Hey, we need a batting order. ANIMAL MOTHER grabs the girl's arm, EIGHTBALL holds on to the other one. ANIMAL MOTHER I'm going first. EIGHTBALL Hey, now back off, white bread. Don't get between a dog and his meat. ANIMAL MOTHER slaps EIGHTBALL on the wrist like he's a naughty boy and pushes the girl into the movie theater. ANIMAL MOTHER (jokingly) All fucking niggers must fucking hang. Adlibs of "Fuck you!" and laughter. ANIMAL MOTHER Hey, hey! I won't be long. I'll skip the foreplay. FADE IN: 74 EXT. HUE CITY RUINS--DAY The LUSTHOG SQUAD on patrol moves slowly in single file, fifteen yards apart, through the ruined, smouldering city. JOKER (voiceouer) Intelligence passed the word down that during the night the N.V.A. had pulled out of our area to positions across the Perfume River. Our squad is sent on patrol to check out the report. 75 INT. BOMBED FACTORY--DAY The patrol moves carefully through the gutted shell of a building. The clink of their gear as they walk sounds loud in the unnatural silence. CRAZY EARL stops to pick up a child's stuffed toy. BANG! The toy triggs a booby trap, blasting CRAZY EARL across the room. The squad dives for couer. COWBOY Face outboard and take cover! Do it! DOC JAY scurries up to CRAZY EARL, who is unconscious and gives him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. COWBOY scrambles up to them. He looks at CRAZY EARL. Then JOKER runs in. DOC JAY (stops for a second) He aidt gonna make it. COWBOY (to himself) Shit. COWBOY doesn't know, what to do. Then he fumbles for his field radio. COWBOY Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy! DOC JAY continues the mouth-to-mouth. COWBOY Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy! MURPHY (o.s.) Hotel One. Over COWBOY Murph, this is Cowboy. Craze is hit. Booby trap. MURPHY (o.s.) Roger. Understand. Wait One. COWBOY looks around edgily. MURPHY (o.s.) You're senior N.C.O. You take charge and continue on with the patrol. Call in at the next checkpoint. Over. COWBOY Roger. Out. COWBOY stares at the radio. He looks scared. He turns to JOKER. COWBOY I'm squad leader. JOKER punches him reassuringly in the arm. JOKER I'll follow you anywhere, scumbag. DOC JAY stops working over CRAZY EARL and slowly looks up. DOC JAY He's dead. The three men stare at the body. 76 EXT. BURNING FALLEN BUILDING--DAY The squad moves past a burning five-storey building that has collapsed and is lying on its side. DISSOLVE TO: 77 EXT. LOW CONCRETE WALL--DAY EIGHTBALL, on point, studies a map as he walks. Then he slours to a stop and signals to halt the squad. The squad stops ancl crouches down in the rubble. EIGHTBALL gestures for COWBOY to move up. EIGHTBALL (quietly) Cowboy! COWBOY moves up and they kneel behind a low concrete wall. COWBOY What's up? EIGHTBALL I think we made a mistake at the last checkpoint. He shows COWBOY the map. EIGHTBALL Here ... see what you think. I think we're here and we should be here. COWBOY studies the map. COWBOY We're here? EIGHTBALL Yeah. COWBOY We should be here? EIGHTBALL Yeah ...yeah ... that's right. COWBOY is confused and scared. He checks his compass. Then he peers over the wall through his binoculars. COWBOY looks back nervously at the squacl strung out behind him. COWBOY Fuck ... What do you think? EIGHTBALL Well, I think we should change direction. EIGHTBALL doesn't sound like he really knows what to do either. COWBOY knows he has to make a decision. COWBOY Okay. We'll change direction. COWBOY motions to the squad to come up. They rattle up and take positions behind the low wall. JOKER What's up? COWBOY Changing direction. JOKER What, are we lost? COWBOY Joker, shut the fuck up! COWBOY (to squad) Okay! Listen up! Can you hear me? Adlibs of "Yeah!" COWBOY Okay, we're changing direction. We're heading over that way. COWBOY points over the wall to some ruined buildings across an open space to their Left. COWBOY Eightball's gonna go out and see if he can find a way through. EIGHTBALL shrugs, apprehensiuely. COWBOY Got it? Adlibs of "Yeah!" COWBOY Eightball ... let's dance. EIGHTBALL slowly gets to his Knees and peers over the wall. EIGHTBALL Put a nigger behind the trigger. 78 EXT. RUINED STREET HUE--DAY EIGHTBALL climbs over the low wall and moves cautiously out into the open, heading for the damaged buildings. The squad covers him. EIGHTBALL reaches the buildings and stops to study the smoke-filled square. 79 SNIPER P.O.V. -- DAY P.O.V. from a concealed position on the second floor of a building on the square, an AK-47 rifle is slowly raised and aimed at EIGHTBALL. EIGHTBALL turns back to wave the rest of the squad up. BANG! The SNIPER fires. EIGHTBALL is hit in the leg. Seen in slow motion, EIGHTBALL twists and crumples to the ground. The LUSTHOG SQUAD fires blindly, wildly, at every door and window in the direction of the shot. COWBOY Okay, cease fire! Cease fire, goddamn it! Some of the squad keep firing. COWBOY Cool it, goddamn it! Cool it! Cease fire! AdLibs of "Cease fire!" The firing stutters to a stop. COWBOY Okay, listen up! Did anybody see a sniper? Did anybody see anything? T.H.E. ROCK (down the line) Did anybody see a sniper? DOC JAY No! DONLON Nothing! RAFTERMAN Negative! T.H.E. ROCK Nothing! Adlibs of "No!" COWBOY Okay, then save your ammo! Nobody fire till I tell you! Seen, in slow, motion, the SNIPER fires again and hits EIGHTBALL in the arm. He screams in pain. The squad opens fire at buildings facing them. COWBOY No, no! Cease fire! Cease fire! Animal, cease fire! Keeping low, DONLON comes up and hands COWBOY the radio. DONLON Cowboy, it's Sergeant Murphy. COWBOY (into radio) This is Cowboy. Over. MURPHY (o.s.) This is Murphy. What is your present position? Over. COWBOY Murph, we're receiving enemy sniper fire. Eightball is down. Our position is about half a klick north of checkpoint four. Believe pos- sible strong enemy force occupying buildings in front of us. Request immediate tank support. Over. MURPHY (o.s.) Roger. Understand. I'll see what I can do. Over. COWBOY Roger. Over and out. COWBOY (to Donlon) Stay close. DONLON Got it. COWBOY thinks hard for a few seconds. COWBOY (to squad) Okay, listen up! I think we're being set up for an ambush. I think there may be strong enemy forces in those buildings over there. I've requested tank support. We're gonna sit tight until it comes, but keep your eyes open. If they decide to hit us, we'll have to pull back fast. The SNIPER fires, wounding EIGHTBALL again, this time in the foot. He shrieks in agony. Again the squad opens fire. COWBOY Goddamn it! Hold! Cease your fire, Mother! Cease your fucking fire! The firing stops. DOC JAY Cowboy! COWBOY What? DOC JAY We can't leave him out there! COWBOY We're not leaving him! We'll get him when the tank comes up. DOC JAY He's hit three fucking times! He can't wait that long! COWBOY I've seen this before! That sniper's just trying to suck us in one at a time! The SNIPER fires and hits EIGHTBALL in the thigh. His cries echo across the open space ground. ANIMAL MOTHER fires madly. COWBOY (shouting) Goddamn it! No! The squad continues firing. COWBOY Goddamn it, cease fire! The firing trails off: ANIMAL MOTHER He's out there alone! COWBOY Cease fire! The firing stops. DOC JAY Man, fuck this, fuck this shit! I'm going out to bring him in! COWBOY No! You stay the fuck down! DOC JAY Cover me! DOC JAY jumps over the wall and, ducking low, zig- zags across the open ground. The squad fires to cover him. DOC JAY gets there safely and momentarily drops out of sight. COWBOY Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Okay, cease fire! He's there! Adlibs of "Cease fire!" 80 SNIPER P.O.V.--DAY DOC JAY, Seen over the sights of the SNIPER's AK-47, drags EIGHTBALL toward cover. 81 EXT. THE SQUARE--DAY The SNIPER fires. DOC JAY is hit and falls next to EIGHTBALL. The squad opens fire again. COWBOY Hold your fire! Hold your fire!!! Cease fire! You can't see the sniper! Save the ammo! Nobody fire till I tell you! Nobody! ANIMAL MOTHER What the fuck do we do now, Cowboy? COWBOY Gimme that fucking radio. DONLON scuttles over with the radio. COWBOY (into radio) Murph? This is Cowboy. Over. MURPHY (o.s.) This is Murphy. Over. COWBOY Murph, we're in some deep shit. I got two men down. What's the story on that fucking tank? Over. MURPHY (o.s.) Sorry, Cowboy. No luck so far with the tank. Will advise. Over. COWBOY Roger. Out. (muttering to himself) Numbnut bastards! (to the squad) Okay, listen up! T.H.E. ROCK Listen up! COWBOY Can't afford to wait for the tank. I think they're gonna hit us any minute. When they do we won't have time to pull out. We gotta do it now. Let's get ready to move. No one moves or says anything. T.H.E. ROCK Get ready to pull out! ANIMAL MOTHER Wait a minute! Hold it! Hold it! Nobody's pulling out! There's only one fucking sniper out there! COWBOY Back off, Mother! I'm calling the plays! I say we're pulling out! ANIMAL MOTHER Yeah, well, what about Doc Jay and Eightball? COWBOY I know it's a shitty thing to do, but we can't refuse to accept the situation. ANIMAL MOTHER Yeah, well, we're not leaving Doc Jay and Eightball out there! COWBOY Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted! You know that! ANIMAL MOTHER Bullshit! Come on, you guys! We gotta go bring'em back! Let's go get 'em! Let's do it! COWBOY Stand down, Mother! That's a direct order! ANIMAL MOTHER Fuck you, Cowboy! Fuck all you assholes! ANIMAL MOTHER jumps over the wall and runs screaming and firing his M-60. The squad fires to cover him, blasting chunks of mortar and concrete from the buildings. ANIMAL MOTHER (screaming) Fucking son-of-a-bitch! You motherfucker! Aaagh! Whooo! ANIMAL MOTHER reaches the buildings and drops down against a shattered wall. He calls across the open street. ANIMAL MOTHER Doc! Doc! Doc! Where's the sniper? DOC JAY tries to speak. ANIMAL MOTHER Doc, where's the sniper? Barely able to move, DOC JAY tries to point in the direction of the SNIPER. Suddenly he and EIGHTBALL are riddled by a burst of automatic fire from the SNIPER, Killing them instantly. ANIMAL MOTHER's eyes widen in horror. ANIMAL MOTHER (under his breath) Shit! ANIMAL MOTHER gets to his feet and edges forward to the corner of the building. He carefully looks around the corner across the square at the black building, from where he thinks the shots were fired. BANG! A shot from the SNIPER ricochets off the wall a few inches from his head. He ducks back around the corner, breathing hard. ANIMAL MOTHER looks around and carefully works his way to a safer spot behind another building. He shouts to the squad. ANIMAL MOTHER Hey, Cowboy! COWBOY Yeah! ANIMAL MOTHER Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted! There's only one sniper, nothing else. Move up the squad! You're clear up to here! Come on! COWBOY isn't sure what to do. COWBOY (mutters) Son-of-a-bitch. The squad look to him. He takes a couple of thoughtful breaths and decides to go. COWBOY Okay, listen up! No-Doze, Stutten, Donlon, Rock--you come with me, we'll take a look! The rest of you stay put and cover our ass! We may be coming back in a big hurry! JOKER I'm going with you. RAFTERMAN I'm coming, too. COWBOY Okay. (To the others) You all set? Adlibs "Yeah!" COWBOY Let's move out! T.H.E. ROCK Let's do it! The five men clamber over the wall and dash across the broken ground to the smouldering cluster of buildings. When they reach ANIMAL MOTHER he leads them to a street off the square where they duck down against a shattered building. They catch their breath and move forward to the next building, where they crouch down against the wall. ANIMAL MOTHER (pointing) Cowboy .. . top of the black building, around the corner. COWBOY cautiously moves to the corner of the building and studies the strange-looking black building which commands the square. Then. he ducks back around the corner, more uncertain than ever what they should do. COWBOY Donlon ... give me that radio. COWBOY moves to DONLON to take the radio. Facing away from the black building, COWBOY does not notice that from the place he has moved to he can be seen. by the SNIPER through a jagged hole in the building. 83 SNIPER P.O.V. OF COWBOY The SNIPER's P.O.V. --COWBOY's upper body is just visible through the hole in the building. 84 EXT. SQUARE--DUSK COWBOY Murphy, this is Cowboy. Over! A gunshot reverberates. In slow-motion COWBOY falls. JOKER Cowboy! ANIMAL MOTHER starts firing his M-60. RAFTERMAN (shouting) Holy shit! The sniper's got a clean shot through the hole in the wall. Much yelling, shouting and confusion as the men realize where the shot came from. JOKER (shouting) Get him! Get him the fuck outta here!! COWBOY is carried behind the building. All talk at once. JOKER Easy! Easy! DONLON Get him on his back. Adlibs. COWBOY (weakly) Oh, I don't believe this shit. Adlibs, fumbling for bandages, etc. JOKER Shut up! You'll be all right, Cowboy. T.H.E. ROCK Take it easy, Cowboy. Four pairs of hands doing things. COWBOY (moaning) Uhhh, that son-of-a-bitch! JOKER You're gonna be all right. T.H.E. ROCK You're going home, man. You're going home. DONLON Easy, man. Easy. Easy. COWBOY Ohhhh, don't shit me, JOKER! Don't shit me! JOKER I wouldn't shit you, man. You're my favorite turd. COWBOY begins to lose consciousness. JOKER Cowboy... DONLON Hang on, man. Hang on! COWBOY (coughs) I ... I can hack it. T.H.E. ROCK You can hack it. COWBOY I can. I-I... COWBOY spits up some blood and dies in JOKER's arms. JOKER bends down and hugs COWBOY. Nobody moves. Then, one by one, they slowly get to their feet. JOKER is the last to get up. They stand looking at the body. ANIMAL MOTHER leaves two men to continue firing at the SNIPER, and he scuttles around the corner to the group around COWBOY's body. He looks at COWBOY and then at JOKER. ANIMAL MOTHER Let's go get some payback. JOKER looks up slowly. JOKER (in cold anger) Okay. ANIMAL MOTHER leads then down a narrow street. They stop to take cover behind a building just off the square. They have to cross the open. square, ruhich would give the SNIPER a clear shot at them. ANIMAL MOTHER Give 'em some smoke. He and JOKER toss three smoke grenades into the square. They explode ruith a dull bang. They wait while the square slowly fills with smoke. ANIMAL MOTHER waves and they run out blindly through the thick smoke to the other side of the square. 85 INT. BLACK BUILDING They work their way into the shattered, burning building, past twisted steel girders and huge broken chunks of concrete. They come to a place where they have to split up. ANIMAL MOTHER points one way. ANIMAL MOTHER Donlon, Rock--that way. You two with me. DONLON and T.H.E. ROCK move off as ordered. JOKER and RAFTERMAN follow ANIMAL MOTHER the other way. They come to another place where they have to choose which way to go. ANIMAL MOTHER (pointing) JOKER, in there! New Guy with me. JOKER cautiously enters one door. ANIMAL MOTHER and RAFTERMAN disappear through the other. 86 INT. WRECKED AND BURNING LOBBY--DAY JOKER finds himself in what was the lobby of the building, a large room, which is on fire, with shattered columns, oriental arches, and windows with large decorative grillwork. JOKER inches slowly into the room. He hears a noise, ducks behind a column and peers around it. He sees a small, b lack-clad figure standing at a window - the SNIPER. He raises his rifle, aims and squeezes the trigger. A loud click. In slow motion the SNIPER turns to face JOKER. We see the startled face of a beautiful Vietnamese girl of about fifteen. In slow motion JOKER frantically works the bolt of his M-16. With the hard eyes of a grunt, the SNIPER fires her AK-47 rifle. In slow motion JOKER ducks behind the column, desperately trying to unjam his M-16 rifle. In, slow motion the SNIPER fires and runs down a few steps to get a better shot at JOKER. The bullets from her AK-47 tear large chunks of masonry from the column shielding him. Suddenly the SNIPER's body seems to explode as she is hit by a burst of automatic fire. RAFTERMAN has come up and fires his M-16 into the girl's body. JOKER stands trembling against the shattered column. RAFTERMAN snaps another M-16 magazine into place, gestures JOKER to stay put, and moves forward like Supergrunt to check out the rest of the room. It's clear. He moves to the window, and shouts to the two men in the square. RAFTERMAN We got the sniper! The SNIPER lies on the floor, writhing in pain. JOKER and RAFTERMAN cautiously approach her. RAFTERMAN kicks away her AK-47. The two men stare at her in disbelief: The SNIPER is a child, no more than fifteen years old, a slender Eurasian. angel with dark beautiful eyes. They are startled by a faint sound. They dive for cover. They listen. ANIMAL MOTHER calls from behind cover at the other end of the room. ANIMAL MOTHER Joker? JOKER Yo. ANIMAL MOTHER What's up? JOKER We got the sniper. RAFTERMAN and JOKER circle around the SNIPER as DONLON and T.H.E. ROCK and ANIMAL MOTHER walk up. RAFTERMAN I saved JOKER's ass. I got the sniper. I fucking blew her away. RAFTERMAN laughs hysterically, and kisses his rifle. RAFTERMAN Am I bad? Am I a life-taker? Am I a heart- breaker? No one pays any attention to RAFTERMAN. The SNIPER gasps, whimpers. DONLON stares at her. DONLON What's she saying? JOKER (after a pause) She's praying. T.H.E. ROCK No more boom-boom for this baby-san. There's nothing we can do for her. She's dead meat. ANIMAL MOTHER stares down at the SNIPER. ANIMAL MOTHER Okay. Let's get the fuck outta here. JOKER What about her? ANIMAL MOTHER Fuck her. Let her rot. The SNIPER prays in Vietnanese. JOKER We can't just leave her here. ANIMAL MOTHER Hey, asshole ... Cowboy's wasted. You're fresh out of friends. I'm running this squad now and I say we leave the gook for the mother-lovin' rats. JOKER stares at ANIMAL MOTHER. JOKER I'm not trying to run this squad. I'm just saying we can't leave her like this. ANIMAL MOTHER looks down at the SNIPER. SNIPER (whimpering) Sh . . . sh-shoot . . . me. Shoot . . . me. ANIMAL MOTHER looks at JOKER. ANIMAL MOTHER If you want to waste her, go on, waste her. JOKER looks at the SNIPER. The four men look at JOKER. SNIPER (gasping) Shoot . . . me . . . shoot . . . me. JOKER slowly lifts his pistol and looks into her eyes. SNIPER Shoot . . . me. JOKER jerks the trigger. BANG! The four men are silent. JOKER stares down at the dead girl. RAFTERMAN (laughs) JOKER ... we're gonna have to put you up for the Congressional Medal of... Ugly! (laughs) JOKER looks at RAFTERMAN, blankly. DONLON Hard core, man. Fucking hard core. 87 EXT. BURNING CITY--NIGHT. The platoon moves through the city, silhouetted against the raging fires. A scene in, hell. JOKER (narration) We have nailed our names in the pages of history enough for today. We hump down to the Perfume River to set in for the night. The marines start to sing. MARINE PLATOON Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Hey there. Hi there. Ho there. You're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Forever let us hold our banner high. High. High. High. Come along and sing a song and join the jamboree. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Here we go a-marching and a-shouting merrily. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. We play fair and we work hard and we're in harmony. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Forever let us hold our banner high. High. High. High. Boys and girls from far and near you're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Who is marching coast to coast and far across the sea? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Forever let us hold his banner high. High. High. High. Come along and sing a song and join the family. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. JOKER (voiceover) My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of shit . . . yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid. MARINE PLATOON (singing) Come along and sing this song and join our family. M-I-C-K-E-Y- M-O-U-S-E The marines march off into the distance. MARINE PLATOON (singing) Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Hey there! Hi there! Ho there! You're as welcome as can be. Mickey Mouse ... The sound fades aulay as the scene fades to black.